oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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