The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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