If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
