The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I checked into jail on foursquare
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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