Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
