Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
