What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
