your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
