umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
