In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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