i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
