none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
