She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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