I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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