I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
