Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
