You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
