I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
