i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize