Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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