Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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