My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
