Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
