I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
