If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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