It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
