So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
