What a fucking waste of an outfit
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
