If i come over, it means nothing
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
