it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
