That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He did a backflip because drugs
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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