I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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