i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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