the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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