That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
