Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
