handjob tips. give me some.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
