Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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