but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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