"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
