remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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