Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he had hair everywhere except his balls
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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