when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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