I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's the barista slut.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
