pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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