I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
that is very illegal...i love you.
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