She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
that is very illegal...i love you.
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