FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
