The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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