So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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