If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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