I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
