She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
