Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I love you.
Bad choice
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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