Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
