I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
