A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
