shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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