TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
