you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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