you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
