The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
