So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
