Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
