I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
