She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
