look no pants
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
