Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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