I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
