Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
