HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
