singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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