you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
