Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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