what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
