I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
