FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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