Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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