ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
