hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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