you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
